Rapport by Emily Alison & Emily Alison

Author:Emily Alison & Emily Alison [Alison, Laurence & Alison, Emily]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473560796
Publisher: Ebury Publishing

GOOD T-REX VERSUS BAD T-REX

Emily: I remember a family I was working with that was under review by social services. Dad was arrested and convicted for assaulting his partner, and sentenced to community service and supervision for 18 months.

Dad had been instructed to move out of the family home and was meant to be living with a family member over two hours away. He was allowed to see the children twice a week at a contact centre. He was not allowed any contact with their mother at all or to be near the family home at any time. However, due to his local commitments – child contact, employment, probation appointments and community service – he was in town every day for most of the day and evenings as well.

When we began working with him, this situation had been going on for five months. Driving or getting the train every day was almost impossible to maintain both logistically and financially. Many people might think he would be tempted to violate his conditions and return to the family home, just hoping he didn’t get caught. The cynical among you might think the situation had been set up to almost push him in that direction.

He did not – instead he started sleeping in his car.

One of the manager’s view about this situation was effectively, ‘Oh, he’s struggling? Tough. Then maybe he shouldn’t have done what he did.’

At the next meeting, I set out my view that we were increasing the risk to the entire family by failing to address Dad’s need for adequate local housing and recommended that Dad be placed on a priority housing list as soon as possible.

‘Well no one else agrees with you as you are clearly putting the father’s needs above the children so let’s just move on, shall we?’ she responded with a patronising nod and flick of her hand in my direction, almost as if she could waft me out of the room like a bad smell. I felt humiliated and demeaned.

I mustered my confidence and said in a slightly quivery voice, ‘Before you move on, I want it noted in the meeting notes that I dissent. I do not agree with the decision. I want it to be made very clear that I have advised that the current situation, if left unchanged, will elevate the risk to the children in this case.’

Her face turned purple as she looked up in disbelief. ‘Fine, it’s noted, but no one else feels that way so it’s actually irrelevant,’ she said.

I will confess that as I was delivering my frank, forthright challenge I did not feel very confident or assertive – I felt like a Mouse in a T-Rex costume. I knew I was not the Lion – I was not in charge of the decision. But I also knew that I needed to say that I didn’t agree with it. I had a bottom line and, in my mind, it was clear what the right thing to do was.

After

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